Babu Types

BABU TYPES

Delhi is often described as the land of Babus, Netas and Dalals. In recent times Delhi has seen great affluence- An offshoot of the liberalization era, which spawned an increasing number of successful businessmen. Someone described Delhi as the city where, half the population consists of Police constables and the other half consists of crooks. But Delhi will always remain the seat of federal power and the omni present Babus. It is the Babudom, which defines the character of the city. Here are the various Babu types including certain rare ones.
Constipated types: Looks glum and serious, as if he hasn’t had bowel movements for several days now. He routinely takes credit for national reconstruction, appointment of Cabinet Ministers and assorted other momentous events in the history of the nation. He can make or break, move or shake anything in Govt. Normally seen in Gymkhana Club/India International Centre rubbing shoulders with similar types. Reluctant to talk to lesser Babus and is very curt and dismissive to personal staff, clerks etc. On a Babu’s salary, he is able to afford Brooks Brothers suits and Rolex watches - nothing mysterious about it. Usually married into wealth and power. This type gets plum postings and foreign stints.
Networker : Is heavily into the lingo of batches and services and cadres. Is naturally motivated by the acquaintance of officers spread across services/states. Normally from a service categorized as inferior in Babudom. Is capable of putting in a word sideways to get things done. Often lapses into daydreams of what could have been a better life if a few marks more were scored in an examination conducted by the UPSC fifteen/ twenty years ago.
The Loud Feudal : Vernacular with a good academic record. He made life’s choice of plumping for the bureaucracy enchanted by visions of a chauffer driven, Lal Batti-fitted, white Ambassador car with white frilled curtains in the back windows- while the Indian reality passes by outside. Loves having several peons, clerks, cooks, gardeners, window cleaners, Brass polishers and other servants at his command. Forsaken chances to pursue studies in Cornell, USA for the hot & dusty Indian feudal existence and social recognition. Is rather disappointed with the recent deterioration in facilities in Government. Gets his daily dose of adrenaline from servility, deep bows and salutes.
The frustrated ones: Easily constitutes the large majority of Babus. Frustrated by a confluence of factors like miserly salary, pitiable lifestyle, lack of professional satisfaction and gloomy forebodings of the future. Is constantly awaiting the next pay commission report and dreams of a miracle salary hike which has a chauffer driven car thrown in for good measure. Little interests in life except children’s education and the Dal-subzi-roti –dhobi routine and mounting electricity bills every month. Could be spotted eating peanuts and sunning himself outside the North Block during winter afternoons. Eagerly looking forward to the next Dearness Allowance hike.
The misfit : Still entertains dreams of working as a lecturer in Delhi University or a journalist. Extremely well read and can quote from Jose Saramogo and Pablo Neruda effortlessly. Often with a JNU or St.Stephens background. But this is a vanishing breed after the eighties. Not too comfortable with fellow bureaucrats and is often considered a snob by colleagues. Given the right breaks, capable of flashes of brilliance in his work too. Speaks good English, a rarity in the Jatlands of Delhi. Has integrity and fine tastes in Clothes, music etc. Could be spotted in the British Library, Indian coffee House and Fab India showroom after office hours.
The maverick : Was possibly playing in a rock band in college and is an avid reader of off beat literature like Che Guvera’s Motor Cycle diaries and J D Salinger’s Catcher in the Rye. Believes that there is no real music after the breakup of the Grateful Dead. Reached the bureaucracy due to parental pressure. Could be seen occasionally strumming the air guitar amidst dusty files. Wishes to sport a pony tail and a single earring but scared of peer disapproval. Family rates him as a poor husband/lousy father. He dreams of throwing it all away and retiring to a coastal village in the pristine natural environment of Goa/ kerala. Nurtures desires to junk the old Maruti Zen and drive an overpowered Harley Davidson Motorcycle.