The Super Presidency

Delhi turns cold early morning these days. As I drag my sorry butt out of bed I wonder why is there smoke outside. I thought Anbumoni Ramadoss (India’s hyper active Health Minister whose wrath befalls on guilty smokers and odd Chief Surgeons) has stopped it all over India and how come Delhi is still simmering with early morning smoke? Could Aam Janta be doing their morning ablutions smoking beedis in the open ? Are they reading The Hindu newspaper also while at it, like me, who treats it as the best laxative in the world ?(I mean The Hindu , not the beedi) I realized that it is the poorly paid security guards of government colonies making bonfires to make their night vigils a bit more tolerable. Couple of times, I was tempted to tell them not to do it. That I have breathing problems in winter, I am asthmatic etc and hence Bhaisaab, please refrain from lighting that fire in the open. But remembered that while I am snug and cosy at home, these guys are on beat in the dead cold of Delhi winter.
I get ready for the walk of four rounds and jog of one round, panting and nearly dead, at the end of it all. Nothing much has changed in my life. Except for a few tiers of flesh around the waistline and a rapidly thinning hairline. And a guy my age and colour is about to become the President of the United States. Strangely I feel nothing much at all. It is symbolic than anything else. Just as Indians claim that a Scheduled Caste Indian became the president/Chief Justice, an Indian Muslim became President/Cricket Captain etc. Doesn’t change anything on the ground, but makes us all feel a bit better. Incidentally many of us don’t know that India introduced Universal Adult Suffrage before the oldest democracy introduced it.
As McCain looks like rapidly becoming a part of history of also-rans, I take a closer look at him. -My favourite is always the underdog and McCain now qualifies to be that- Just as Obama was the underdog among the many candidates for the Democrat ticket. This guy has sure got stuff. But he chose the wrong time in history to run for office. A war hero with self-deprecatory sense of humour- Someone who refused release from prison unless his mates were released too. He represents old world values which have no place in a world where draft dodgers make Presidents. Looks like he is the kind of guy who would call a spade exactly that and would have the humility to admit when he is wrong. It was a particularly interesting moment when Obama and McCain debated Pakistan. Obama advocated military intrusion subject to blah …blah…. McCain, the realist said he would walk softly and carry a big stick. What neither knew was that it is typically the American proximity that is losing votes to politicians of every hue in Pakistan and even making the Army unpopular. The McCain position in the ultimate analysis sounded more plausible.
As I hear Obama’s booming voice and body language glowing with success lately, I wish him humility. To see things not just in black and white but in many hues, to think that one could be very wrong and also to see reality beyond the US made tinted glasses. Who else is better positioned to do that considering his Afro- Asian multi-racial background? It is good to know that our contemporaries are going to occupy positions of importance. In a way it is the first major generational shift in the Post World War period. Hope he has a good Presidency. Hope he realizes that protecting or advancing American interests around the globe does not necessarily mean that the world would turn into a better place. Hope he pays heed to the voice of nations marginalized by the voice of the developed. Hope he doesn’t drown in his own rhetoric. Wish him the wisdom and fortitude to see through troubled times…..

Serious Cash

Last heard, no one was offering serious cash for changing my faith. Interestingly, the guys with serious cash to blow do not seem to have that glint of religious fervour in their eyes that says come hither… Join the flock and your soul shall be saved. Nor am I the kind of guy who could be enticed with offers of multiple sex partners in after-life- With little luck in this life, I am sure things aren’t going to be better in the great Babudom in the sky. For offer of serious cash, one could consider mumbling something from any scripture, a slight sprinkle of water and even sacrifice a small & insignificant part of one’s anatomy, which has little practical use. What if our land turns into a theocracy and the threat of sword hangs over my head if I don’t convert? Then convert I shall…but shall strive to publish a compendium of jokes as underground literature about the humourless ruling theocrats and their principals up there. Also fervently hope that I don’t get caught and get publicly executed like Najibullah. The execution of Najibullah (the Soviet stooge who ruled Afghanistan before it was liberated by Afghan warlords) is an interesting study in the art of public execution. He was killed publicly after generous doses of torture, but not before his private parts were chopped off and stuffed in his mouth.
Gods seem to have lost their sense of humour as they cross the Hindukush Mountains. Try some transmigration of soul. You are a tribal, eking out a subsistence living in the badlands of Jharkhand or Orissa. The only offers that come your way are from Naxalites: offers to blow up Police stations and raid armouries. You don’t join them because you are sort of peace loving: although the big guys who run the place almost tempt you into turning Naxalite. The alternate offer is a quiet prayer, some concern, a little financial and physical support during times of crisis. Call that enticement? No serious cash is being blown up. That is more than what our politicians have to offer. The other allegation is that Hindu Gods are being denigrated by the proselytizers. I thought we were proud of having the largest number of Gods and we are also free to tell jokes about them. Yeah, we tolerate as long as they are told by our brethren, but not by others.
Serious cash is also being pumped into US financial system to bailout the financial markets. Americans have Hank Paulson for Treasury Secretary. Hank Paulson is kinda the King of Investment Bankers who was at the helm of affairs at Goldman Sachs. What a choice! They hand over the treasury to the Bandit in chief. Americans can take comfort in the fact that he wears a digital watch and not a Rolex. A bit like Indians taking comfort in the fact that our politicians wear Khadi and not designer suits and hence our money is safe with them. The solution offered in the great US bailout is simple. The Govt buys the financial products, which have turned bad. It will be all done in a tightly monitored process. And an Indian Engineer who is among the numerous whiz kids who have turned to Finance for easy money will be in charge of the process. Talking about Engineers turning to Finance, we get to see many bright IITians switch disciplines. So it is in France and Germany, I have heard. Why spend time in noisy shop floors, assembly lines when you can wear nice suits and play with other people’s money. (And pay yourself a nice packet too). Hence the solution lies in the problem itself. No one asks how these ingenious financial products have been designed, who designed them and for what god-awful purpose? How could the problem be solved by the State buying into these financial products that brought down a whole economy in the first place? God does have a sense of humour when you cross the Atlantic. And there is serious cash to spare out there.
Gordon Brown has been more conservative in thinking. He wants to bail out Banks by going the Indira Gandhi way. Part nationalization by increasing the capital base of banks is the panacea offered by him. Mrs Gandhi didn’t have a patent on this strategy and Gordon Brown can replicate it partly or fully. But he better be careful of the babus (the British version). They turned Indian Socialism into a nightmare of gargantuan proportions.
Tailpiece: The arrears of 6th Pay commission are being doled out. Hopefully I will be part of a gated community. I am yet to receive it, but with some serious cash I might realize the dream by paying ten percent of the total mortgage amount and acquire a home in Chennai, if not Delhi.