It has been two eventful months. Firstly, I have shifted base to Chennai and reunited with the Missus and Chathu. The average workday is longer and hectic. The workplace is 16 kms away but involves a commute of about two hours, dodging buffaloes, trucks, speeding buses and a vast multitude of two wheelers that swarm around you. I have joined a gym near my place and have been following a punishing ritual. I have also started learning to play classical Guitar along with Chathu. So there is hardly any time to update this blog. To the handful of readers who keep a watch on this space, my apologies. I might never learn to tweet and avidly post inane messages on face book. I am not pretentious enough to believe that the readers of this blog are dying to know what happens in my personal life.
I often miss the feeling of self importance that comes with a job at the Central Government- The feeling that you are in the midst of momentous decisions that have a huge impact on everything. As a middle level bureaucrat, I had increasingly come to rely less and less on people- for the simple reason that there are few below you, who can be ordered to do things. Hence the trivial acts of producing notes, write ups, analyses etc almost completely rest on you. Then there are the grey haired eminences who brutally dissect what you have written.
But I am very relaxed now. There is no tension that accompanies every Parliament session, every high powered meeting and there is no lurking doubt that you are always watched- no matter how exemplary your conduct is. Also, work moves faster. There are people who are reasonably competent and could be trusted to produce analyses, write ups and other such trivia. There is better discipline. Since this is a factory, employees punch their cards and don’t complain about that Punjabi Bagh DTC bus that runs late and reaches South Block only at 1130 AM. (Kya Karein Saab…)
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Karun Lalla, the Child- God, found an existence of His own over the dusty lanes of a sleepy little town. Soon Lalla grew into a mythological warrior and demolished the opponents, among who, were a 20 faced demon and a hedonistic guy who ate and drank six months and went on to sleep another six months. (Aah! To be born again under his skin…No day job? No commuting? Who was sponsoring him? Nestle? Parle? Pepsi? Curlon pillows?). Soon the Child- turned-warrior found a place inside the dome of the revolutionary He-God. The Merciful He-God shot to fame by turning anti-establishment in the 4th century when all one had to do was to obey the king- who rather whimsically worshipped the sun, moon, wind and the queen’s puppy. So the He-God shaved off his mustache, grew a beard, sanctified multiple sex partners, selectively agreed with theories on origin of mankind and killed the king. His followers brutally exhorted their followers to kill and maim those who believed in Other-Than-He. No place for a She there or Pretender-Gods…
The Child God’s followers finally splattered the vote bank of the nation and reduced the dome of the He-God to rubble. The Child-God (who for the purposes of elections and symbolic worship, underwent genetic therapy and growth-stunting surgery, remained a perpetual child) managed to get the country’s famous advocates to argue his case in musty courtrooms and air conditioned TV studios. The PR guys promoted his case for free. Meanwhile the He-God, claimed a stake on the dome (and present ruins) where he was once ensconced. The Lallaites argued that the He-God fought against such symbolism in the 4th century whereas the birthplace of Lalla was important to His followers. After much murder and mayhem (in which an estimated 650 small town artisans died and some Mumbai based smugglers were arrested), the judges in the musty courtroom ordered that the 60 acres of land be divided among the Lallaites, the He- Goddites and the Uttar Pradesh Wrestling Federation- who surprisingly had a piece of paper that said that the entire land belonged to them- and that their ancestors had used the land for mud- wrestling and growing vegetables. There was another bunch of Jholawallas who wanted the land to be turned to secular and non religious uses like building a hospital, stadium, Shopping Mall or Massage parlour. They sounded very disappointed by the faith- based division of land which could have been put to productive use to generate employment. Yet another bunch of followers of the Child-God and He-God variously attired in sackcloth, ashes and long flowing beards said that both Gods stood for the larger good of mankind and the killings by both sides are not sanctioned by scriptures. That left their followers terribly confused, who till now believed that their respective Gods are warriors, not doves.
So finally the Child-God and the He-God have equal portions of the land along with the UP wrestling federation. The next battle is soon to begin with corporate bigwigs adopting the Child-God and neighbouring countries adopting the He-God with financial support from oil sheikhs. The UP wrestling federation is soon going to appellate court claiming that only they have documentary evidence of ownership and the Lallaites and the He-Goddites have based their claim on hot air and dodgy history. The child- God and He-God have now mobilized followers to build worship-halls made of gold. A verdict from higher court is expected in... ahem.. another 65 years. Watch this space!!
