Anglo Saxon Justice

Was a billionaire
Had several wives
Bred many children
Watched himself on TV
Sent threats to enemies
Had Viagra
Watched occasional pornography

Osama Bin Laden almost sounds human and hm... incredibly lucky to have lived the life he did. (And maybe is presently enjoying the many soothing comforts of beautiful virgins in paradise. I, an agnostic, will give that theory a skip) Finally there is a lot of jubilation over the death of the man who was smoked out of his lair in a midnight operation. How the dreaded guy could have lived comfortably in a Pakistani cantonment town remains a mystery.   The Indian media has been going to town over the inefficacy of the Indian state. An allusion is drawn to Ajmal Kasab, who, after heinous slaughter of innocents is fed biriyani in an Indian jail, while the Yankees just took out their enemy from what everyone now believes is an ISI safe house. The Indian media has gone to town about another high value target ensconced in Pakistan for the last 20 years. Even Pakistani media writes about his presence there. There is an Interpol alert on the man. And we watch helplessly. There is grudging admiration for the Americans who were not gullible enough to let the Pakistanis in on the intelligence they had - Fearing that the target might be tipped off.  Also for being daring enough to fly in and out of Pakistan to achieve their objective.

The Pakistani media is crying hoarse over the attack on their sovereignty. They have redirected their anger at India. If Indians ever try that we will give them a fitting reply, they say. There is anger at the US for the humiliation heaped on them. How could the Indian Army chief dare to suggest that India is also capable of such an operation? (What did you expect him to reply to a pointed question? Well, hmm, we could also do it, in the fullness of time and under propitious  circumstances?). In Indian TV, every night talking heads appear to gleefully suggest that our subcontinental neighbour is a failed state, waiting to implode. This space is not going to be used to further such theories; although the 26/11 assault is fresh in every Indian's mind.

We learned About Anglo Saxon justice system from books of the West. We were taught the principles of the English justice system and the centrality of the principle of natural justice which affords an opportunity to defend one's case. The criminal,be he a serial killer, murderer, rapist, is always read his rights. He is always protected by the wonderful legal system that allows him to seek legal help. He need not say anything that might implicate him in a court of law. He was always innocent until proven guilty. We read tomes of legal thrillers of Erle Stanley Gardner, Scott Turrow and detective fiction by Michael Connelly, John Sanders and others to know how the justice system worked. We always sneered at the apology of the justice system in Indian courts where justice moved at snail's pace. When our Courts gave rulings, the system always found means to subvert them.

Anglo Saxon law also taught us that an unarmed enemy ought to be captured, read out the charges, produced in court, evidences presented and convicted. Against Osama, we always thought that the Americans had tomes of evidence. He was also, allegedly, unarmed at the time when the commandos broke onto his room. Then why did they kill him first? And gave him an anonymous burial in the sea? And claim that justice has been done? No wonder that the Pakistani media is replete with stories that the guy who was killed was not Osama, and also that the Americans stage managed it for an excuse to exit Afghanistan  etc

For a moment, we look back at ourselves. We caught an armed Ajmal Kasab alive. (with valuable human lives sacrificed in the process). We convicted him to hang. He is in jail.  We feed him biriyani with loads of English justice....Don't we have reasons to be proud ? We just might rename the whole process as Indian justice system  instead of Anglo Saxon....And give a few valuable lessons to the rest of the world!!!

Promises

 I finally went looking for him. My carpenter has been evading me many times. Whenever I called his mobile phone, I have been regaled to a dialogue by Rajnikanth. Something to the effect that "don't trust a woman who is overambitious or a man who is angry beyond adequate measure". While I could recite the entire line without passable mistakes after several such futile calls, I just couldn't get to  talk to him. And I just couldn't get the connection between a woman's ambition and a man's anger. Meanwhile the fragile peace at home was occasionally shattered with complaints of broken windows, doors and other wooden stuff which need repairs. I decided to track him down and  maybe personally persuade him to come. Nothing like a wee bit of personal touch, y'know, even if it entails a trip to the nearby mass housing colony in sub-optimal conditions (er......slum). And maybe, if time permits, seek a clarification on Rajnikant's blood  curdling lines on a woman's greed and a man's  temper. Maybe advise him to migrate to a latest romantic Tamil song as his caller tune. It just might soothe some frayed nerves of persistent callers. 
 

              It was sunset when I saw him. The music was blaring and the residents of the mass housing-whatever had come out in large numbers. They gathered around the dry water tap shooting  the breeze, picking lice from random hairs (women)  swilling booze from  random pint bottles (men) and throwing balls of various sizes (kids) and all this while watching reruns of old Tamil movies on the 14" TV  kept in the courtyard of the mass-housing for sub-optimal conditions- the tiny TV came as a rare fulfilled election promise. Looked like a microcosm of  happy Indian society with food to eat, place to sleep, clothes to wear and  old Tamil movies to watch on a 14" colour TV. They haven't started aspiring yet for power, roads and other small luxuries like Jimmy Choo shoes.

     On TV, a guy with huge sideburns, cakes of makeup, hair puffed up, sporting a pencil - thin mustache and  wearing an overcoat with large checks, was dancing with a buxom woman who appeared rather scantily dressed for the snowy locales. Discrimination in the Tamil movie business, I muttered. Let the woman freeze while the guy is snug and cosy in an overcoat.
            
        His eyes had that glazed look in them. He reeked of that magic potion which comes from tiny bottles from TASMAC shops (as the liquor shops are known in Chennai) . Did his speech slur? For a moment he didn't recognize me." Saar, you here?..." he asked. I told him  jovially  that I wanted to see him in person and ask him about those lines from Rajnikant. He missed that Hi-ho well-met humour and started explaining the deep twists and mysterious meanings in Rajnikant's lines and the mistakes in my rendering of it. I interrupted him and asked him when would it be convenient to turn up at my humble abode of the creaking windows and jittery doors. "Tomorrow is election: day after tomorrow I am going to Gummidipoondi.I will come the day after that" He checked his virtual organizer implanted in his brain cells and recited. Except that I knew that he never makes good a promise, unlike the chief minister who gave 14"colour TVs to his subjects after winning a landslide election. That was one major, visible, in-your face election promise fulfilled  and the streets and homes are full of reruns of old Tamil movies as a result of that. I told him that his promises are not like Kalaignar's (the Chief Minister-  a  man  sporting dark glasses eternally).

             To those who are out of the entertainment loop called Indian politics,- This State, Tamilnadu, makes no bones about the fact that politics is entertainment. Entertainers are politicians. They come in all shapes and sizes. Erstwhile scriptwriters,  sex kitten- heroines, comedians, movie producers. You don't have to look far towards Bihari politicians with earthy mannerisms for your daily dose of humour. They are all out there, one feet in the entertainment business and the other in politics- if not entertaining masses in movies, then doing likewise in politics. The average Senthil living in Mass-housing in sub-optimal conditions is thrilled and tickled to the bones at this outpouring of entertainment from everywhere.

         He then started an involved discussion on Politics, producing blockbuster movies , erstwhile actors, telecom scams and sundry other topics in an election  cauldrom in an eclectic and unstructured fashion.  I couldn't make the connection between these diverse issues- Much like Rajnikant's baritone lines on greedy women and angry men. What about money, I asked. Are you paid to vote? Aren't you given Rs 500 notes in an envelope along with pint bottle and biriyani for your valuable vote?

          He said why call it buying votes? Aren't cricket players owned by IPL teams?  Aren't politicians  sponsored by businessmen? I have something they need and they pay me for it. Well, that was a strong piece of logic, I said. But why are you content with a bottle of liquor and a biriyani? I asked. Can't you price your vote higher? Can't you ask for better roads, uninterrupted power, water supply and regular clearing of garbage which seem to have inundated your colony?   "Saar that is for you people. Our  dreams  have a lifespan of three days. They are imminent and last as long as the elections. After that things will be back to normal."

                  This conversation wasn't going right. I said goodbye. "See you in two days: Whom are you voting for?", I  asked. Well, he said he is weighing his options. There have been sundry promises this time. Of mixers and grinders, of laptops to 11th standard students. Chathu is going to 11th and these promises are timely, I thought. I started wondering  about possible configurations of the promised laptop which, I suppose, would be of mass-promise standards. One party has even promised cows and buffaloes for every home, he said. Do they provide parking space for cows and buffaloes, I asked. He said they don't need parking space . Unlike the car you own, cows are self propelled. They move in the colony, block traffic and live off the streets. Good for you, I said. I promised to give him the cow I get  and shall make do with the laptop for my son.

Election are over and results are awaited. I am still waiting for him to make good his promise and turn up for the repairs.