It is bad enough writing a funny babu-blog without Indian politics. It is something like wrestling Dara Singh with one arm tied behind your back. You start with a huge handicap since the biggest source of entertainment is taboo. Any opinion on it in this blog might violate service conditions of Indian bureaucrats. In spirit I don’t belong to the steel frame that is Indian bureaucracy Proof lies in that I have not cultivated that look of heightened self- importance even after 20 years in it. But nope; I shall not risk my job; though I run a serious risk of losing my sense of humour after a few more years in Indian babudom.
I read Indrajit Hazra occasionally ((columnist in HT). This thought comes from his recent column on the crisis in a major political party. Like he, I also had many suggestions recommending songs appropriate to be played at Chintan Baithaks of BJP, Congress Working Committee meetings with nice bolsters on the floor and CPM conventions held under huge khaki tents. You can take your pick between a Malayalam semi Reggae/ Hip Hop number called Lajjavatiye to the ‘Times they are a changin’ by Bob Dylan and ‘bend me shape me anyway you want me’, a 1968 classic by the American breed. I can laugh till my sides split, imagining kurta clad Netas doing a jig to popular numbers of yesteryears. But I shall refrain from setting forth such crazy ideas here.
American politics seem much better. The campaign starts with an important campaign-song choosing and a slogan choosing round. The slogans could sound variously like ‘where’s the beef’ (which had a lot of Hindus scratching their heads wondering what the forbidden piece of meat has to do with choosing the President of USA), ‘read my lips’, ‘shit gives’, ‘stuff happens’ and other such inane one liners which, if heard in isolation, make no sense. Only contemporary Americans can divine the deep, evocative messages that are contained within them. Before you start selling the $1000 a- plate dinners, booking airtime, appointing PR firms, sexy interns and other celebrity cheerleaders you need to choose a song that needs to be played incessantly on the campaign trail.
Fleetwood Mac is a great band to listen to while walking or jogging. The drummer, Mick Fleetwood (after whom the band is named) can make an ordinary beat sound exciting and lift your energy levels. ‘Go your own way’ is a wonderful song to have playing in your ears as you walk a few miles and slowly trot into a brisk jog. But who thought that the Clinton campaign team would dust off their old song ‘don’t start thinking about tomorrow’ and play it continuously in the campaign. I wish we could also do theme songs for important occasions. For anniversaries, campaigns, party politburo meetings and cricket coaching camps. I am given to mouthing lyrics of favourite songs all the time: as I walk, run, work, eat and while in toilet. Although a non believer, I have silly superstitions- like it’s gonna be a good day if I sing ‘I can’t tell you why’ by the Eagles in the shower every morning. Even the name (‘Helplessly Hoping’) of my blog is from the famous classic vocal harmony by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. I can tolerate a load of crap; when accompanied with a soothing tune or lusty beat. Give me a song any day……
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I am teetering close to insolvency. Life is expensive here. The scholar ship amount is not sufficient to run a family. The Australian Government has given us student visa which contains permission to work 20 hours a week to supplement scholarship income. The Indian government forbids its’ officers from accepting financial support from other sources. I have borrowed a few thousands from my sis in law which is being repaid from my salary back home. The exchange rate being about Rs 40 to an Australian dollar, the said salary which would have given us a comfortable life in India, has rapidly vanished. Don’t be surprised if I am driven to working in a checkout counter of a supermarket (the only kind of jobs available for the asking) out of sheer necessity…. It is wages of sweat after all, not sin…. Some plight for a Babu who can sheepishly claim to have directly or indirectly controlled resources worth billions in the past. Another two months to go. Maybe this could be my last official foreign sojourn. It has been a great experience. But something tells me that it is not worth it if you don’t have enough of the green stuff. Scrounging was fun when young. Not any more…
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